The REST of the story is yet to come

Duck fans have been all over the internet tonight discussing the letter John Canzano posted tonight from an unnamed former Duck player who had a very bad experience in the stands this past Saturday.

Well, Duck fans, remember, there is always the Other Side of Duck in just about every instance.

Once again that is true.

I cannot say who wrote the letter as I am not completely privy to his identity. However, I can say that I have extended an offer to meet and talk with him to get a better version of his feelings out there instead of this letter that was printed.

First, I can say that yes, this IS a real letter. And yes, the letter was written by a former player.

Through a mutual friend I know that there is some regret here for how this was presented and the manner in which it has spread.

Remember, we ALL get emotional at times and say things or do things we wish we hadn't. There is no delete button for the spoken word and once a letter is received, you cannot unsend it... that is a harsh reality.

The young man was emotional and upset and spoke from his heart. But he was also exploited for the benefit of a columnist.

One thing is true, however. For a young man who did work his tail off on the field; who heard the cheers in their generic form, to stand with the fans and hear up close the negativity that stains the lapse between the cheers has to be devastating. Sometimes the reality of the close up is a harsh reality. It is easier to listen from a distance.

But this is also a window to our soul. We Duck fans always say, once a Duck always a Duck. That must be more true now than ever before. Whatever this mans name, he is a former Duck. He will always be a Duck.

We have bad fans. Most of us have always known this and kind of shrug it off with a "nothing I can do about it" mindset. The reality is that the fans who were sitting around him now know what themselves in this description. Will they care? Who knows. They may not even remember their boorish behavior.

There is a chance, however, that someone in that section will recognize their boorishness and make a change for the better. Wouldn't that be something?

A calling of a different nature

So, I have to confess, I have had a sort of existential crisis ever since Flock Talk last week.

At the end of my story on Colt Lyerla, I said that we should care everyday.

Afterwards, I had to ask myself honestly if I were acting in the manner I described. Did I care every day? Was I doing anything to make the world a better place?

Some will say that the mundane makes the world a better place. Good parenting. Working. Being a good husband.

While there is some truth behind that sentiment, that really does very little to help the world. It helps myself. It makes me feel good about myself without taking any risk.

I have a gift. I have a voice that I can express through the written word. But I write about sports. Very rarely does anything I can write have any true impact. Oh sure, on occasion I can write a piece that might have social relevance, but that is not often and it is a very fleeting moment in time that is quickly forgotten.

The next day in the sports world there is always another story.

As I have contemplated just how I could take whatever gift it is I have been possessed with and make that gift count, I have been quite miserable at times, and barely tolerant at others. I felt like a hypocrite. I wrote eloquently about caring and here I was with my head in the sand.

I struggled with the fact that some people who I considered hypocritical were more involved with helping society than myself. Sure, they could be doing it for the notoriety and to keep their names everywhere. After all, I consider most of us that choose to write somewhat narcissistic. More so for those that are in multiple mass media outlets. Nonetheless, they are making a difference.

Today, after struggling for several days and contemplating where my future lay in terms of writing, football and the Ducks, out of the blue, I received an invitation to make a difference.

I cannot divulge everything, but I am excited as I think there is a story to tell that can have an impact. This is not a football story. And the happy endings are not the stuff of Hollywood.

But the struggles, pain, confusion and subsequent healing are truly inspiring. And that is the word I feel today. Inspired.

I am excited and looking forward to this challenge. It will be a challenge because the story is a heart-wrenching tale and I will have to dig deep to really make this story profound on a level that helps.

But this challenge lay ahead of me and I am excited again!

Former player sounds off

Today, local columnist included a slightly redacted version of a letter he received with its origins from a former player. John Canzano was ambiguous at best describing the player to protect his identity, likely at the former players request.

While some would love to speculate that the letter was fiction; the work of a rival fan whose only goal is to embarrass the fan base, reality says that this is highly unlikely.

I know many think that I have some personal vendetta or issue with Canzano, and, well, that just simply is not true. I have not always approved of his content or style and have expressed such dissatisfaction openly.

On only one occasion has john ever said something to me or about me to which I took personal offense; and I met with him and quickly resolved that issue.

While I wouldn't exactly classify as as friends, nor would anyone likely consider as colleagues, we have a cordial enough relationship that I feel comfortable greeting him in the press box and exchanging whatever pleasantries seem appropriate.

When I first started writing on this blog and then for Duck Sports Authority, there was also speculation that many of the traditional journalists had some sort of disdain for me, I can say that I have found that to be mostly untrue. Most of the traditional journalists, those who work for newspapers, went to journalism school, etc., have treated me with a great deal of respect for which I am immensely grateful.

Reading today's letter from the unnamed former player smells nothing like a fabrication. But it does give some insights into a world many of us do not truly comprehend.

Now, the writer tells us some deeply worrisome facts about the fans he experienced.

Quite honestly, there are a lot of bad fans... but I think this former player probably needs to take a reality check. A football game is a cross section of America. There are dumb people everywhere and you have to deal with them every single day. That's part of life.

The bigger problem is that he has made himself no better as a person than those he criticizes in  this letter. By assuming that all Duck fans respond in the manner he experienced in a small section of the stands, he belittles himself in the process. No. Not all fans act like those around him did Saturday. No, not all fans stand by and let that happen.

I sit in the stands (rarely now, though) and have not experienced the same degree of stupidity... but I also have learned to filter out much of the stupidity that surrounds us every day. If i had not done that, I would have gone insane a LONG time ago.

"Eff the fans?" Okay. And how does that make you feel? How's that working for you? Reality is that, without the fans, there are no scholarships. Look no further than non-revenue sports. If not for Title IX, there would be considerably fewer athletic scholarships handed out.

You have to take the good with the bad. That's what true fans do every year. Do we stop going to games after the first loss? No. Did the fans stop supporting the team last season after the Stanford game? No.

So you ran across some idiots, and because of a few idiots you are willing to disparage all who share a similar affiliation with the team? That does not reflect well on YOUR maturity. Life isn't perfect. There are bad people everywhere.

You can go into a cocoon, or you can revel with those who are the better fans, or you can give up entirely.

I would have hoped that your coaches taught you better than to give up.

Come to a tailgate with me and you will see a different type of fan.

In fact, I challenge the former player to have a real discussion' openly' with fans in a town hall forum. No anger; no paranoia; just a cross section of fans who can show the proof that not all fans are as he saw on Saturday.

Other former players have already talked openly about the subject. Former Duck Nick Cody was open through twitter that he knows the problem, but has a different approach.

"I've been treated badly by fans of many schools. My own included. But never hold it against the school or fans as a whole."

Isn't that a much better approach than to lace a letter with nothing but profanity in an angry response?

I say absolutely.

Look, there are bad people in this world. There are bad people inside Autzen; and Reser, and the Coliseum and every other football stadium. Over the last several years I have travelled to many stadiums around the country. LSU fans were in denial when I told them about the experiences I had in Dallas. They simply would not believe how poorly I was treated.

Fans in Knoxville, Virginia, Wisconsin, Ohio State and Phoenix have all been overwhelmingly courteous in how they chose to treat the visitor from Oregon. That does not mean that there were no bad apples.

You have to choose how you respond to the negativity that surrounds you in this world. You can close your eyes, get angry and vow to never again acknowledge the negativity through your own denial, or you can choose to celebrate the goodness that IS out there.

I have been int eh same section for 15 years; watched the family behind me grow up; the two sons were like 10 and 7 when I started sitting in those seats. Now they are both college graduates and incredibly generous, respectful people.

So some fans were drunk and obnoxious. So?

What did this player think fans did after a bad play? Cheer anyway?

Football is an emotional sport. As someone who played at the college level, was a strength coach at the college level and has been a season ticket holder for 16 seasons and fan my entire life, I can say that it is very emotional for everyone involved.

Fans invest a lot of time and money in this sport and take everything that happens as a part of that investment in their soul. I know that players don't want to always hear this, but fans feel the losses too. Fans spend a lot of money and scream their lungs out trying to help the team in the only way they can. They too feel frustrations and they too will voice their frustrations.

It's heat of the moment stuff.

Does this excuse boorish behavior? Absolutely not. But to expect football fans to respond like they are at the opera is a little naive at best.

So I reiterate my open statement; meet with a group of fans. Talk to more people than the small cross-section of fans you experienced last Saturday. Maybe you will find out that rash judgements serve no one.

Why Kirk Herbstreit is wrong

Herbstreit has long had love for the Oregon program.

Today he stated that he thought that, right now, Florida State deserves the number two spot more than Oregon in the BCS.

I say he is wrong and I can prove it with two words: Boston College.

Boston College is ranked somewhere in the 70's or lower by computer polls; they are currently 3-4 with their three wins over Villanova, Wake Forest and Army; teams who have combined for a record of 11-13 this season.

Boston College; the same team that lost to a very bad USC offense and mediocre USC team by a 35-7 score. That would be the same USC that stands at 5-3 and lost to Washington State 10-7 earlier this season.

Florida State won against Boston College, but in the process escaped hving allowed 400 yards of offense, 200 rushing yards and 34 points to a middling ACC team.

Boston College also took Clemson to the limit with the Tigers escaping 24-14.

What this tells the untrained eye; the ACC is nowhere near the quality of the Pac-12 conference. Simply put, Oregon's 28 point victory over a considerably better team than anything Boston College has faced tells me who the better team is in this instance.

Sure. I am biased. But that does not mean that I am incorrect.

Flock Talk: Insidious fall

The insidiousness of drugs. Destruction.

This week, former Oregon tight end Colt Lyerla was arrested for cocaine possession. As writers, fans and scouts talk about the topic from the sterile world of their own, you wonder just what each person knows or feels.

It is oh so easy to criticize; to look back and provide lectures on the opportunities that were given and either ignored or not understood.

We have been told that this is not about football; it is about life; the life of another human being which hangs in the balance. It is brought to our attention not because we care so much in our day-to-day life about just how drugs permeate the fabric of our society. It is only brought out because Colt Lyerla is a football star. So let's call this what it is, a football story. Do we really think that this story would be on the front page if Colt Lyerla were a gas station attendant?

Of course not. No one cares about that guy; until he commits a more serious crime.

And therein lay the problem. We don't care about the guy who is throwing away a life that seems less important; we only care when it permeates something we love. And isn't that the bigger problem?

I have personal experience with this having watched as a younger family member has progressed from normal kid, to kid who tried drugs, to kid who liked drugs to criminal who cannot seem to stop his own stupidity. He has been to jail and his only excuse is that "drugs should be legal. It's stupid."

While on a certain philosophical level, a libertarian view of life, he might have an argument. But ask him what libertarian means and he will give you the look of confusion as if you were speaking in tongues. He has no concept of the philosophical meaning behind his statement; he simply wants to use drugs because it fills a void.

The void that needs to be filled. That is where the insidiousness of drug use in our society comes from and it is troubling. We have been told for years about the "war" on drugs. We have wilfully funded this war as a solution to what ails society. Clearly, the manner with which we have attacked this problem does not work. But this so-called war fills our own void. It makes us feel better; safer at night.

Cut the drugs off at the source has been the motto. Unfortunately, when there is demand, there will be a supply source. No amount of money, guns or jails will rid the world of the cockroaches that want to fill that void for you. If cockroaches can survive the nuclear holocaust what makes us think that a governmental war on drugs will kill the cockroaches and solve society's drug problem? I am not convinced.

So the life of a football star hangs in the balance and we all pretend to care for a few days. Do we care? Would we talk about a "wasted life" if a gas station attendant was picked up for snorting cocaine? Well, start talking, it has surely happened this week at some point.

Don't kid yourselves. This is a football story.

Embrace that fact because that is how we change society. As long as we deny why this story means more than the 15 year old who sold some marijuana to his friends and received a felony conviction for it, but no one seems to know or care, then we also continue to exacerbate the problem. The problem is with America.

We are so entrenched in the things that mean nothing that we allow what is important to get swallowed up in our pursuit of "stuff."

The Colt Lyerla story is passed off as the tragedy of a kid with a rough upbringing. Thinking it is about his past makes us sleep easier at night. Guess what, though, kids from normal houses with loving parents and good schools; great support systems get just as caught up as those from rough upbringings.

If we want to fix this problem that permeates the fabric of our society, we have to stop fooling ourselves.

Feeling good should not be the goal of any person; true happiness should. That happiness cannot come from religion or through force of will and it will not come from drugs. Human value in society is warped and out of control. We watch bullying and say "kids will be kids." Until someone commits suicide over the constant harassment.

I have also watched an adult male, extremely devout in his religion get to 35 years old before he "discovered" drugs. Within a year he had lost his wife, house, cars, kids. Everything. He was living in his parent's basement. Not a broken home; good values taught by his parents. But he needed something to feel "better" about his station in life. He was a close, personal friend whom I had known over 20 years before his fall.

The insidiousness of drugs.

The problem is deep and insidious. It is the darkness of a nation that no one wants to admit. This is a scourge that threatens our security.

Yes, the Colt Lyerla story is a football story. But we can make it more than a football story. It can become a life altering story if we allow ourselves the opportunity to grow and learn about ourselves.

Chip Kelly and the Ducks athletic department did everything in their power to help Colt Lyerla. Do not think for one minute that Chris Herren was brought in for any reason other than the education of Colt Lyerla.

Herren's story is powerful; and scary all at the same time. Talent did not solve his problems. Money did not solve his problems. Drugs did not solve his problems. Knowledge is what it took to solve his problems.

Many people without the intelligence and acumen of Herren have fallen under the same spell and not made it out alive. Where is our compassion for their plight?

When we see a story like Colt Lyerla or Chris Herren, we get very serious with our "hope" that they can get straightened out. And, you know what, this only reinforces the wrong message. Why wait until a football or basketball star gets in trouble for drugs to care? There are kids, everyday, who get into trouble for the first time. That is when we should care.

We should care not when it starts to destroy the life of a football star, but when it starts to destroy the life of a human being.

We should care every single day.

Beyond Flock Talk: An unimaginable darkness

Tomorrow in Flock Talk, I look at the Colt Lyerla story from a different angle.

While everyone else talks about their "hope" for his future, I look at it, as usual, from a different perspective. Everyone keeps saying "this is not a football story."

Oh really? Then why are football writers covering the story? It shouldn't be a football story, but it IS a football story whether we like it or not.

I talk about the bigger picture.

Today I saw some saying that maybe a cell would solve the problems. While that person concedes the point I made that a possession charge is highly unlikely to result in any jail time, the other question that comes to mind revolves around that very jail cell.

So many people think jail is a solution; but were they willing to put their money where their mouth was in budge ballots? If so, then I applaud your integrity. Unfortunately, generally speaking most people who use the "lock 'em up and throw away the keys" mantra are also notoriously against using any public funds voting down just about every attempt to do the very things they say they favor. That kind of hypocrisy strikes me as quite comical.

But, you know what, that was just talk thinking that hearing the cell door slam every night might straighten his head out. And, you know what, I get where the thinking comes from and don't really have a problem with it as a concept.

On the other hand, I also saw a poster flat out blame Colt's parents for his continuing plight. His downfall has been seemingly precipitous. In reality, the fall has been long, slow and agonizing for everyone involved.

But if we want to keep pointing a finger at someone else to make ourselves feel better, when does it stop? If Colt's parents are to blame for his life, who is to blame for their life?

The surefire response is that "hey, he was a kid when they screwed up his life, but they were adults." Well, what about when THEIR life got screwed up.

You see, we can go on forever looking for someone to blame before we come to a harrowing conclusion. The very structure with which we think we feel secure is to blame.

Each individual has to make healthy choices. But how and when do these people learn to make healthy choices? Clearly relying on individual parents to all somehow "get it" and teach their children does not work.

And that thought scares the hell out of Americans who understand the depth and breadth of the problem because it involves more "big brother" mentality.

There are NO easy answers to this problem. It permeates our society and is a sign of a deeper structural problem.

We are so consumed with the American Dream that we live in a nightmare. We lie to ourselves to feel secure.

There are serious problems in this nation. It takes serious people to solve these problems. Seriousness scares us, so we look away and use platitudes to comfort ourselves.

Colt Lyerla has made his choices. He is an adult and responsible for those choices.

Society, on the other hand, has an dark side no one mentions. At some point, when a problem permeates a society, it is about more than individual bad choices.

We are ALL responsible for what this society has become.